Written by Ad OpsIntroduction and Naming Note
This article examines the cannabis cultivar commonly marketed as Fucktard, a mostly indica strain bred by Real Gorilla Seeds. The breeder is known for hardy lines that perform in marginal outdoor climates, notably across the UK and northern Europe. While the name is part of the product’s identity in the market, it contains offensive language; this review will reference it sparingly and focus on agronomic, chemical, and experiential attributes.
The discussion synthesizes breeder notes, grower reports, and general indica-dominant cultivar data to provide a complete technical reference. Where third-party lab numbers for this exact cultivar are not publicly available, reasonable ranges are provided based on comparable indica-leaning lines. Readers should treat all cultivation guidance as informational and confirm legality in their jurisdiction before growing.
History and Breeding Background
Real Gorilla Seeds established its reputation by selecting for robust plants that can withstand cool nights, high humidity, and the shorter summers of the British Isles. Their catalog has historically featured indica-leaning hybrids that finish quickly outdoors and tolerate guerrilla-style cultivation. Within that context, Fucktard appears as a resin-forward, dense-budded line positioned for potency and ease of growth.
Precise release dates and parentage for this specific cultivar have not been formally published by the breeder. However, the phenotype and growth tempo align with Real Gorilla Seeds’ strategy: early-to-mid-season finishing, stout frames, and strong resistance to mold pressure. The strain’s development likely emphasized quick flowering (typically 8–9 weeks indoors) and tight nodal spacing to maximize yield in space-limited or clandestine setups.
The naming mirrors an era when provocative strain names were used for differentiation, particularly in seed markets crowded with kush, cookies, and chem derivatives. That marketing choice does not reflect the horticultural merit of the plant, which stands on its own in terms of resin output and indica-style effects. In practical terms, the history is best understood through performance: solid yields despite suboptimal conditions, and a chemotype tuned toward heavy THC expression.
Genetic Lineage and Indica-Dominant Heritage
The exact genetic lineage has not been publicly disclosed by Real Gorilla Seeds, and no breeder-issued pedigree is widely available. Based on plant architecture and chemotypic cues reported by growers, the cultivar behaves like a Kush/Afghani-influenced hybrid with a majority indica share. In common usage, “mostly indica” typically signals 70–85% indica influence, expressing as compact frames, thick lateral branching, and rapid floral initiation.
Indica-dominant lines often exhibit shorter internodal spacing around 2.5–4.0 cm (1–1.6 inches) under moderate intensity lighting. Leaf morphology trends toward broad leaflets with 7–9 blades, robust petioles, and a darker chlorophyll density. Flower development favors high calyx density and notable trichome saturation, supporting solventless extraction viability.
Chemically, the terpene cluster in many indica-leaning lines is anchored by myrcene and beta-caryophyllene, frequently accompanied by limonene or humulene. This layout contributes to earthy, peppery, and occasionally gassy notes. While specific parent strains remain undisclosed, the performance signature fits the profile of an indica-forward hybrid selected for vigor under temperate outdoor conditions and weighty indoor colas.
Appearance and Bud Structure
Fucktard typically produces dense, golf-ball to soda-can colas with a high calyx-to-leaf ratio, easing trim time compared to leafier sativa expressions. Mature flowers are firm when squeezed, often registering as “8–9/10” in density on grower scales, especially under 700–900 µmol·m⁻²·s⁻¹ flower lighting. The bract stacking creates pronounced ridges along the cola, forming a chunky look that cures into rock-hard nugs.
Pistils begin a bright tangerine and mature to copper or rust as harvest approaches, providing a visual cue during late flowering. Sugar leaves carry a thick band of stalked capitate trichomes, with glandular heads that stand out under magnification. Under cooler night temperatures (below 18 °C / 64 °F late flower), anthocyanin expression may reveal subtle purples on bracts and upper sugar leaves.
The plant itself usually reaches 0.8–1.2 m (2.6–4 ft) indoors without aggressive training, with a dome-shaped canopy apt for SCROG or even, low-stress training. Outdoors, topped or not, it can stretch to 1.5–2.0 m (5–6.5 ft) in favorable seasons while retaining thick, supportive branches. The overall presentation telegraphs indica dominance: compact internodes, stout stems, and resin-laden bud surfaces that sparkle against darker foliage.
Aroma and Terpene Expression
Pre-grind, the bouquet tends to be earthy and musky with a spicy-pepper topnote, consistent with myrcene and beta-caryophyllene dominance. Secondary accents often include pine and wood from pinene and humulene, with a faint citrus thread attributable to limonene. When broken up, many users report a louder, gassy undertone and sweet dough or hashish nuances, indicating a richer blend of monoterpenes released from fractured trichomes.
Intensity is described as medium-loud to loud; in small grow tents a quality carbon filter is recommended to manage odor. Total terpene content in analogous indica-leaning cultivars often falls between 1.5% and 3.0% by dry weight, with standout phenotypes pushing 3.5%+. In practical terms, that level translates to noticeable room-filling aroma within minutes of grinding.
Curing practices materially affect expression. A slow cure at 60–62% relative humidity for 3–6 weeks typically rounds any sharp herbal edges into a smoother, deeper scent. Improperly dried material (too hot/fast) can volatilize monoterpenes, muting citrus and pine and leaving a flatter, woody-spice profile.
Flavor Profile and Consumption Experience
On inhalation, expect an earthy-kush baseline supported by peppery spice, frequently followed by pine and faint citrus flashes. The exhale often leans hashy-sweet with a wisp of fuel, especially in phenotypes expressing more limonene and trace esters. Vaporization at 180–195 °C (356–383 °F) tends to preserve the citrus-pine highs while delivering the pepper-wood body.
Properly cured flower typically burns to light gray ash, an indicator of thorough drying and balanced mineral content. Moisture content around 11–12% (corresponding to 58–62% RH in jars) helps maintain flavor fidelity and smoothness. Rapid-dried product can present as harsh and grassy; extended jar time usually restores complexity as chlorophyll degrades.
In concentrates, solventless rosin commonly amplifies the spicy-wood and doughy-sweet notes, with the gas element more pronounced in hydrocarbon extracts. Many users report that flavor persists for multiple vaporizer pulls before tapering, reinforcing the perception of above-average terpene density. Across formats, the aftertaste tends to be pleasant and lingering rather than sharp or acrid.
Cannabinoid Profile and Expected Potency
Publicly available, third-party lab panels for this exact cultivar are scarce, so the best guide is the performance of comparable indica-dominant hybrids from the same breeding philosophy. A reasonable expectation is total THC (post-decarboxylation) in the 18–26% range under competent cultivation, with standout phenotypes potentially touching the upper 20s. CBD is usually minor (<1%), though occasional outliers can show 1–2% CBD in mixed-chemotype populations.
Total cannabinoids often tally 20–30% in well-grown indica-leaning flower, inclusive of THC, CBD, CBG, and trace THCV/CBN. CBG content around 0.3–1.0% is common in resin-forward lines and can subtly shape perceived effects. THCA to THC conversion during decarboxylation follows the 0.877 factor; for example, 24% THCA in raw flower translates to approximately 21.1% THC after full decarb.
For extractors, cured flower rosin yields of 18–25% by weight are achievable with resinous phenotypes, while ice water hash yields of 3–5% (of input mass) are considered average to good. Hydrocarbon extraction may return 15–20% depending on trim quality and maturity. These ranges reflect the dense trichome fields visible on mature colas and the cultivar’s apparent hash-friendly resin heads.
Terpene Profile in Detail
Grower and consumer notes point to a myrcene–beta-caryophyllene anchor with limonene, humulene, and pinene often in the supporting cast. In analogous indica-dominant kush-style profiles, dominant terpene percentages typically distribute as myrcene ~0.4–0.9%, beta-caryophyllene ~0.3–0.7%, limonene ~0.2–0.5%, humulene ~0.1–0.3%, and alpha/beta-pinene ~0.1–0.25% each. Total terpene content of 1.5–3.0% is a working expectation for well-grown indoor flower.
Myrcene contributes musky-earth and is frequently associated with body-heavy sedation in user reports. Beta-caryophyllene, a dietary terpene that can interact with CB2 receptors, is linked with peppery spice and potential anti-inflammatory signaling in preclinical research. Limonene offers bright citrus and is often connected to uplifted mood and perceived stress reduction.
Humulene adds woody-hop notes and has been studied for potential anti-inflammatory and appetite-modulating effects, though THC’s orexigenic influence generally dominates the net appetite experience. Pinene layers pine-forest aromatics and may help preserve mental clarity for some users. Post-harvest handling is pivotal: slow drying at 18–21 °C (64–70 °F) and 55–60% RH for 10–14 days can preserve more monoterpenes than fast, warm dries, which can lop off 20–40% of volatile content in extreme cases.
Experiential Effects and Onset Timeline
As a mostly indica strain, the experiential arc skews toward a calm, body-forward relaxation with moderate-to-strong euphoria. Inhalation typically produces a noticeable effect within 2–10 minutes, building to a peak around 30–45 minutes and sustaining for 2–4 hours. Users often describe a warm, settling physical heaviness and a quieter mental space conducive to unwinding.
Dose and context remain decisive. Smaller inhaled doses can feel tranquil and mood-lightening without immediate couch-lock, while larger sessions trend sedative and can anchor users to the sofa. Many report appetite stimulation within the first hour, along with typical side effects such as dry mouth and dry eyes.
Self-reports across indica-dominant cultivars suggest dry mouth in roughly 40–60% of sessions and minor dizziness or orthostatic lightheadedness in 5–15% after large doses. Anxiety is less common than with some sativa-leaning strains but can still occur at high THC exposures, especially in unfamiliar users. Sensible dose titration—one or two inhalations, pause 10 minutes—mitigates overshooting and promotes a predictable experience.
Potential Medical Uses and Considerations
While formal clinical data on this named cultivar are limited, its indica-forward profile and likely THC-dominant chemotype point to several plausible therapeutic applications. Patients managing sleep onset difficulties and insomnia often respond to heavier evening chemovars; sedation and calmer ruminations are commonly reported benefits. Chronic pain, including musculoskeletal and neuropathic components, may be alleviated by the combined THC and beta-caryophyllene signaling alongside myrcene’s relaxing tonality.
Appetite stimulation suggests possible utility for cachexia or treatment-related anorexia, with nausea relief frequently cited for THC-dominant strains. Anxiety responses are individualized; lower, measured doses can reduce perceived stress for some, while higher doses may provoke transient anxiety in others. For daytime use in anxiety-prone patients, microdosing strategies—1–2 mg THC equivalent by vapor or 2.5 mg oral—are often recommended starting points.
Safety considerations include avoiding impairment-sensitive activities for at least 4–6 hours post-dose and monitoring for hypotension or dizziness in sensitive individuals. Patients on sedatives or CNS depressants should consult clinicians due to additive effects. As always, medical use should be clinician-guided, with careful tracking of dose, timing, and outcomes to optimize efficacy.
Comprehensive Cultivation Guide
Phenotype overview and vigor: Fucktard presents as a compact, resin-forward, mostly indica plant with quick flower initiation and strong lateral branching. It thrives under controlled indoor conditions and adapts well to temperate outdoor grows, a hallmark of Real Gorilla Seeds selections. Expect moderate stretch (1.3–1.7×) after flip, making canopy management straightforward in tents and small rooms.
Germination and propagation: A 12–24 hour seed soak at 20–22 °C (68–72 °F) followed by planting 1–1.5 cm deep in a moist, airy medium typically yields 90%+ germination with viable seed stock. Maintain 70–80% RH for seedlings and gentle light at 150–250 µmol·m⁻²·s⁻¹ to prevent stretch. For cloning, take 10–15 cm cuts, apply 0.2–0.4% IBA rooting gel, keep 80–95% RH under 18-hour light, and expect roots in 10–14 days.
Substrate and nutrition: In soil, target a well-aerated loam with 25–35% perlite or pumice, 10–20% quality compost or worm castings, and a starting EC around 0.8–1.2 mS/cm. For coco, use a 70:30 coco:perlite blend, irrigate to 10–20% runoff, and maintain pH 5.8–6.2. Indica-leaning plants often appreciate moderate nitrogen in veg and elevated potassium in late flower; aim for total EC 1.2–1.8 in veg, 1.8–2.2 early flower, and up to 2.2–2.4 mid-late flower if the plant is demanding and environmental parameters are optimal.
Environment and VPD: Vegging plants respond well to 24–28 °C (75–82 °F) lights-on with 55–65% RH, corresponding to VPD of ~0.8–1.2 kPa. In flower, shift to 22–26 °C (72–79 °F) and 45–55% RH for weeks 1–5, tapering to 40–45% RH in late weeks to reduce botrytis risk in dense colas. Keep night temps 2–4 °C lower than day to moderate stretch and enhance color near finish.
Lighting and DLI: In veg, deliver a daily light integral (DLI) of 20–30 mol·m⁻²·day⁻¹, easily achieved with 300–500 µmol·m⁻²·s⁻¹ for 18 hours. In flower, 35–45 DLI is a productive target; practically, 600–900 µmol·m⁻²·s⁻¹ for 12 hours works well without CO₂. With 1,000–1,200 ppm CO₂, some phenotypes tolerate 900–1,100 µmol·m⁻²·s⁻¹, provided temperature and nutrition are dialed.
Training strategies: Top once above the fourth or fifth node in veg, then employ low-stress training to spread branches horizontally for an even canopy. SCROG meshes exceptionally well with this cultivar’s short internodes; aim for 1–4 plants per m² depending on veg time. Light defoliation in weeks 2 and 4 of flower can improve airflow and light penetration, but avoid excessive stripping that would slow the compact indica metabolism.
Watering and root health: Let the top 2–3 cm of medium dry between irrigations in soil to encourage oxygenation, while coco benefits from smaller, more frequent feeds. Maintain 10–20% runoff to prevent salt buildup and monitor substrate EC weekly to avoid drift. Root-zone temperatures around 20–22 °C (68–72 °F) maximize nutrient uptake; swings below 18 °C (64 °F) can slow metabolism and risk purple stems unrelated to genetics.
Pest and disease management: Dense buds mean heightened vigilance for botrytis (gray mold) late flower, especially if RH creeps above 55%. Keep strong horizontal air movement (0.3–0.5 m/s), prune interior larf, and maintain negative room pressure to exchange humid air. Integrated pest management can include predatory mites (Amblyseius swirskii for thrips/whitefly, Phytoseiulus persimilis for mites), Bacillus thuringiensis for caterpillars, and neem/azadirachtin or sulfur only in veg—discontinue both at least two weeks before flip.
Flowering time and harvest cues: Indoors, expect 8–9 weeks (56–63 days) from the 12/12 flip for most phenotypes, with some running to 63–70 days if temperatures are cool or if aiming for heavier amber trichomes. Outdoor finish in temperate latitudes (50–55°N) generally falls from late September to mid-October, aligning with Real Gorilla Seeds’ outdoor-first philosophy. Harvest trichome targets of mostly cloudy with 10–20% amber produce a more sedative effect profile typical of indica-dominant strains.
Yields: In dialed indoor conditions, yields of 450–600 g/m² are realistic with SCROG, adequate PPFD, and correct nutrition. Outdoor plants in the ground, with 6–8 hours of direct sun, can return 700–1,200 g per plant, depending on season length and training. Sea-of-Green approaches with 16–25 small plants per m² can also perform, leveraging the cultivar’s compact architecture.
Outdoor and guerrilla considerations: Choose south-facing aspects for maximum sun, and favor loamy, well-drained soil amended with slow-release organics. Mulch to conserve moisture and moderate soil temperature; use camouflaged cages or low-profile training for discretion. Because humidity is a risk in late season, spacing plants 1–1.5 m apart and choosing breezy locations reduces microclimate moisture that encourages mold.
Post-harvest handling: Dry whole plants or large branches for 10–14 days at ~18–20 °C (64–68 °F) and 55–60% RH, targetting a slow, even dry that preserves volatile monoterpenes. Cure in airtight jars at 58–62% RH for 3–6 weeks, burping as needed to prevent moisture spikes. For solventless extraction, fresh-frozen material washed within 24 hours of harvest preserves brighter citrus-pine notes and can yield 3–5% hash from high-resin phenotypes.
Nutrient troubleshooting: Nitrogen toxicity presents as overly dark leaves and clawing—reduce N in late veg and transition feeds. Calcium and magnesium support is often critical in coco; 100–150 ppm Ca and 50–75 ppm Mg (as part of total EC) help prevent interveinal chlorosis and tip burn. In flower, prioritize phosphorus and potassium; a K:Ca:Mg ratio around 4:2:1 mid-bloom commonly keeps tissues balanced under high light.
Quality and consistency tips: Keep canopy distance consistent by tucking and bending rather than stacking risers to avoid hot spots. Rotate plants weekly to equalize light exposure and reduce microenvironment variability. Document each run—feed rates, EC, pH, climate—to refine strain-specific preferences and lock in repeatable outcomes.
